We’ve all heard the saying or at least some variation of it. It is, of course, true. We all get knocked down, pushed off track, and epically fail at something in our lives at one time or another (or again, and again, and again).
Learning to fail is easier said than done sometimes; and even those that feel like they generally have a good grasp on it still have those moments of weakness where the anger and embarrassment get overwhelming. (I would lie if I said I have never lost my cool on the mat or after a competition). It is especially difficult to keep perspective when you fail at something that you have invested yourself into, whether it is your time, money, dedication, hard work, sweat, blood, tears, etc.
To me, keeping your perspective when you have failed means taking the experiences that you have had and learning from them. Why sweep your failures under the rug? Why forget your mistakes? The greatest learning experiences come when you must face the consequences of your mistakes! Sometimes you know exactly went wrong (I was triangled at a tournament after putting my arm between the legs in sidemount top…never again); sometimes it takes a few hours in the gym to understand really what went wrong and how you would prevent it next time (after burning out and losing my third match on points at the 2012 Pan-Ams, I came home and worked on my composure and the mental side of my game for months).
The trouble that many run into is being able to hang onto failures to improve oneself without obsessing over them, beating themselves down with them, trashing their self-confidence. Part of “getting back up” is striking a balance between learning and self-forgiveness. Sometimes, you just have to brush it off and start over (below is me, getting Vaporized by my teammate…again). Happy training everyone.